It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
