I will die if light touches me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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