My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
