OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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