Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
