i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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