i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
