every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
