I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
