Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
