I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
