But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
