i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
