i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
