Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
