i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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