Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Randomize
