imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
