We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
