i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
