A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
There r osticjed everywhere
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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