he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
