he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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