you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
