New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
