If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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