A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
