we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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