Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
