Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
