drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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