Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
