No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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