Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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