i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
