sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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