so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
