So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
