She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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