Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's shark week go big or go home
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
