the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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