Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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