I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
