How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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