I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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