I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
