Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
