NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
