if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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