God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
