Midget sex pt 2 tonight
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
